


normality before the calamity

by Blepbean



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Author Doesn’t Know How To Tag, Crushes, Denying Sexuality, Domestic Bliss, Idk if there’s internalised biphobia in here or not dkdjdjdj, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Sean’s just working at his job ok that’s it’s that’s the fic, Sexuality Crisis, finns here but he’s not mentioned by name you’ll understand, no beta we die like men, sorta idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22527169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blepbean/pseuds/Blepbean
Summary: A week before Eric’s Halloween party, Sean is going over to work at his part time job. A mundane job at Z-Mart, a store assistant at a shitty store full off brand names, putting cans into shelves and doing inventory. It’s what his job is entirely is.But something quickly shifts, making him question everything that he has known for the last 16 years.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	normality before the calamity

**Author's Note:**

> who ever bought this idea, thank u, bc I was so involved and into it that I stayed up writing a lot of this into night. We all just want to see Sean living his life and working at his job 😔✋, dontnod make a dlc about Sean working at his job otherwise we will riot
> 
> Kudos, comments and feedback is appreciated

_ Lyla: bro u suck asssss _

_ Me: wym _

_ Lyla: u literally fucked up your chance with Jenn and forgot to give me the maths hw _

_ Me: *leaving the room* _

_ Lyla: *pulls u back to the room by the hair*  _

_ Lyla: Sean Whatever your middle name is Diaz _

_ Lyla: she  _

_ Lyla: likes _

_ Lyla: you _

_ Me: it’s Eduardo btw _

_ Lyla: shut up you’re going to make a move on her at the party when u get the time  _

_ Me: what if I do something something  _

_ Lyla: you’ll be fine you two are like a match made in heaven which is coming from Lyla the love witch btw _

_ Lyla: gtg, BRING ME THE MATHS HOMEWORK AFTER U GET FROM WORK  _

_ Lyla: I’m watching u _

_ Me: :P _

There’s a certain vibe that’s associated with the suburbs that Sean lives in. There’s always the feeling of  _ home _ everywhere he looks, to the treehouses that reaches high into the sky that Sean has to squint his eyes to look at because of thesun, stickers that say  _ best daddy ever  _ that seems to have gone through hell and back, stuck on a Toyota car with the colour fading and the sides peeling off. Even the finger painting on a canvas with little flowers and bees, set outside to dry in the sun. These tiny little things that mere strangers have bring back the sweetest memories for Sean, the painting that he made that made a mess in the kitchen or the sticker that made for his Dad which he cried about when he lost it.

He smiles, putting in his headphones. The sound of lawnmowers roaring in the distance, birds calling out in the park and the cars chugging along on the road. It’s all quickly muted by his cheap headphones that he stole in target with Lyla during their  _ ‘ _ crackhead hours’. He remembers it clearly, eleven pm, tired eyes and bags that droop under his eyes. There were laughing, running around while they played tag. 

_ Now playing summer simp by jade buddha _

With each step he takes the more the suburbs slowly trickles away and the city Seattle starts to settle in, cool graffitis that Sean wishes he’s done underneath the tunnels, intersections growing more and more crowded and busy and the buildings slowly growing more and more. The tallest ones looks like it’s just in hands reach, piercing through the gloomy, cloudy sky and into the clear blue sky. 

He walks past the skate park where he hasn’t  _ actually  _ skated at in a while, the silent guilt churning in his stomach as he looks at a group doing a nose slide down. Sean hasn’t practised skating much, like a limb is slowly going into frostbite, and it’ll be chopped off and he’ll feel the phantom pain of where it used. He’ll lose it entirely if he doesn’t come back soon, a whole branch of friends, a cool skill to maybe impress Jenn, another midnight skate session where he sneaked out into the night to skate around Seattle and maybe get high in the tunnels.

He feels like everything is slowly going too fast without him noticing, like the wind picking up the leaves that fell from the tree at the skatepark, carrying it around as it goes past Sean, quicker than him. It flies into the air and it disappears from his sight. Everything is going too fast, and if he doesn’t cherish  _ every  _ single thing then everything will go past hums. He can’t pause, he can’t breathe for a moment and let the cool, crisp air burn his throat for just a second.

Because it’ll all go past him.

_ It’s terrifying to grow up. _

He feels his phone buzz, letting him ignore the harrowing thought that lingers inside his head. He sighs, standing at the crossing while he stares at the light.

_ Lyla: pee pee poo poo _

_ Me: Lyla I fking love u but I hate u _

The crossing lights blinks to a green.

_ Me: you really distracting me from properly crossing the streets to go to my amazing job at the Whitehouse 😍😍 _

_ Lyla: omg butler tingz ✨✨💅💅 _

_ Lyla: slap the orange man for me _

_ Me: sure _

_ Lyla: we need to meet up at the skatepark after you work the party’s just a week away _

_ Me: i haven’t skated in like a month I feel like I’m missing out with the squad _

_ Lyla: not abt that (please skate more i hear Jenn talking abt it so much) _

_ Lyla: dude you’re a fucking mess in front of jenn and you’re gonna make Eric regret inviting u to the stupid party we need to let my witch powers to work and train u or some shit _

_ Lyla: gtg my pizza rolls are out of the oven _

_ Lyla: I’m being whitewashed  _

_ Lyla: BE THERE OR BE SQUARE _

_ Me: k _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The sound of the bell ringing as he opens the door feels like the wall is quickly shut behind him, and he’s suddenly locked out from the world and left in a confined space left to be tortured with Boomers arguing over coupons, babies crying 24/7, boredom and the weird musty smell that seems to come out from underneath the rug and his weird 30 yr old coworker that’s always insists to play the shitty overhyped pop songs that everyone has heard in radio, overplayed that starts to sound like nails against a chalkboard.

He sighs, seeing his boss walk towards him with a checklist on hand. He fixes his overgrown goatee that’s probably hidden with crumbs from late night pizzas, Sean fixes uniform, it’s itchy and he feels so lame in it. He starts to dread the hours he’ll have to work, going so far that he’ll have to help his boss close into the night.

“Hey  _ babes  _ assistant,” his boss jokes, it doesn’t land the way he hopes to, for a second there’s the sense of creepiness and the uncomfortable feeling inside Sean to  _ getthefuckout  _ is quickly broken by an awkward laugh.

“That didn’t land right uh…” he crosses something in his checklist, “I’ll get you a new name tag in by next week, unless if you want to stay as  _ babes assistant--” _

“Thank you, by the way for being so cool about my friend doodling on it and—”

“It’s not that hard to make a new nametag,” he says, he looks up as he points with his pen to the corner of the dairy aisle where the storage room is hidden, “just basic storage and stockups today, halloween is coming up soon so I need you in more shifts around that time--”

“I can’t do halloween--”

“I don’t expect you to, just around that time,” he says,” Sean. I know family is important,” his boss pauses for a moment, looking at his pocket where Sean sees him pull a picture from time to time, creases and dust ruining the old picture, there’s usually a sort of melancholic sense to his face. His eye would usually crease and he would smile for just a second, taking his hat off and running his hand through his head. It’s usually for just a moment, just for a second where there’s a sort of mix between guilt and regrets with the way he hesitates to put the picture back to his pocket.

It’s sad how much Sean knows his boss is carrying some sort of  _ pain _ , but he’s just another stranger in his life that will quickly dissolve and forget in his mind, turning into just another stranger in his memories in the years to come

He clears his throat before speaking, “I have plenty of people who can take shifts for halloween, now go, I expect you to be on it in five minutes Sean!” He walks past him, the bell above the door ringing as he goes outside.

The store isn’t that big, five aisles, small and full of off brand names that’s probably expired or tastes like shit. He walks through the heavy doors, the light above him blinding his eyes as he sighs, sitting on top of a crate while he looks at the box at the other corner called  _ homeless donations (send everyday)  _ which is full of unneeded non perishable foods and cans that’s not needed.

_ Come on Sean it’s your fucking job stop complaining,  _ he mumbles to himself, pulling out his phone as he scrolls through Jenn’s profile. There’s a sort of  _ flutter  _ that echoes inside his chest as he looks at her new photo titled  _ at the skatepark!  _ With herself posing in front of graffiti with a new skateboard, wearing a  _ NSFW  _ graphic white shirt that’s tucked into her light blue washed cuffed jeans.

He feels his cheeks heat up, hiding his grin that he didn’t know he had into his knuckles. He can’t stop himself. It’s like an overwhelming sense of  _ warmth  _ that makes him smile so sweetly and tenderly that it makes  _ himself  _ sick, his chest light up with so many butterflies that so badly want to leave.

_ Is this what it feels like to have a crush. _

_ If so it fucking sucks _

He quickly types a comment.

_ Seán Diaz: We should skate sometime Jenn _

He leans against the wall, turning off his phone while he stares at the wall. Jenn skates, actually fucking  _ skates  _ and that’s so badass. He hasn’t skated in a while, a month actually. He feels the sudden looming feeling of urgency and panic, he hasn’t skated in a month and he sucks and Jenn probably a better skater than him and he didn’t even know that She skated and—

His phone chimes

_ Lyla: not bad of a comment, would have been worse if u added ‘cool selfie Jenn!’ or added a ‘lol’ or an exclamation point. _

_ Sean: I almost wrote that... _

_ Lyla: thank god u didn’t  _

_ Lyla: finally have some brain cells, coming from Lyla the love witch _

_ Sean: changin your name to Lyla the love witch now idc _

_ Lyla: as it should _

_ Lyla is now ‘Lyla (the love witch)’ _

_ Sean: dont u have pizza rolls to eat _

_ Lyla (the love witch): and don’t u have a job to get back to _

A new message pops up

_ Eric: yo bro u still down for the Halloween party _

_ Sean: yeah, so pumped _

_ Eric: sweeeeeeet _

A knock on the walls makes Sean almost drops his phone.

“You done?” Jordan asks, another coworker that’s pretty cool, he lets Sean off the hook a couple of times, takes smoke breaks with him and have some decent conversations about him and his band that he’s in that’s he’s trying to get together, their demo isn’t actually that bad. He leans against the door frame, slowly opening the doors into absolute hours of hell.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he sighs, pocketing his phone, “thanks for letting me off so much.”

“No problem, I ain’t a snitch” Jordan mumbles, he looks through the storage room and picks up the box that’s close to Sean, “just don’t text your girlfriend at work Sean this is a ‘ _ very professional workplace’” _

“She’s not my—“

“She’ll be soon,” he says, hugging the box as he looks at Sean with a smile, “you’re a kid Sean, don’t let her get away with your  _ tomato  _ face,” he chuckles before walking out of the storage room. 

“Fuck you Jordan,” he says while laughing, he doesn’t really mean it, the both of them know. It reminds him a bit of him and Lyla, lazy afternoons in his bedroom with SALES playing in the background, cheap cigarettes between his fingers while he insults Lyla and flips her off. The would chuckle, then turning into wheezing and then the blunt almost burning the carpet, leaving an ugly burn mark of a cigarette with a memory that’ll spark a smile into his three am crammed before exam studies with Lyla asleep on skype.

The sudden banging of the door closing screams and disrupts his sweet little memories, crashing him back to reality at a storage room at Z-mart. He stands up, opening the door as he sees Jordan flipping him off from behind, he smiles to himself as he feels his phone buzzing.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Jenn: I just got done with skating _

_ Jenn: are you actually down for skating at the skatepark? _

_ Me: yeah totally!  _

_ Me: really excited _

_ Me: to skate  _

_ Jenn: ^^  _

_ Me: we can set it up at any time, just tell me the day _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He takes off his stupid visor, setting it down at the shelf as he puts the crates of rip-off fanta down on the dusty floor in front of the open fridge, the bitter air making Sean’s hair stand up as he shudders. He carefully moves the dozens of other off brand drinks out of the way, carefully putting the can in one by one, not wanting to repeat the accident on his first day that his boss was full with pity that he didn’t bother to fire him.

He sighs, moving the empty crate aside as he closes the fridge. 

“Sean?”

_ Oh god this is embarrassing  _

He feels his lame-meter go off, his insides screaming at him as he speaks, “Jenn?” He says, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, hoping that his nails are sharp enough to cut deep into his skin and kill him because this is so  _ fucking  _ embarassing that Jenn sees him at a shitty store where all it sells is off brand--

“I didn’t know you work here!” She says, smiling, “you could’ve told me and I would be buying from here  _ all the time _ .” The three words  _ all the time  _ rings around Sean’s head, spinning around until he snaps out of it and chuckles. Silence drifts across their conversations, threatening to quickly close the blinds and leave Sean in the dark. He dreads this bit, he smiles at her to stop the awkwardness from growing too much.

“It’s really not that big of a deal though,” he mutters, looking at his feet. He looks up at looks at Jenn’s eyes, bright blue like some sort of shitty simile, comparing her eyes to the Hawaiian beaches. Their caught in this weird moment, a sort of  _ trance  _ which is filled with this a hazey sort of feeling, a blurry vision of a stupid feeling of  _ love _ that got Sean in all kinds of different knots. 

“ _ Babes assistant _ ,” she says quickly, smiling awkwardly. Both of them knowing that the trance is gone, the spell is broken and Sean doesn’t know whether to feel sad about it and listen to some old songs about lost love while he stares at the ceiling or to feel the sense of relief that echoes inside him.

“Lyla, right?” She says, taking a step towards Sean. He lets her.   
  
“Yep, almost got me fired.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I am, luckily my boss has a sense of humour… well sort of.”

“I really like your hair, are you gonna keep your orange red sort of hair?”

“Uh—“

“Seanie-boy!”

Derek comes up towards them, carrying barbeque chips that  _ he  _ knows that Derek hates, one time puking after he ate it at a high session by his backyard. Sean smiles weakly at Derek, greeting him with their cliche handshake that’s been around for god knows how long. He pulls away from the handshake awkwardly, plastering a stiff smile on his face.

“What’s up man,” Sean says, he points at the off brand lay chips in his hands, “I thought you hated barbeque?”

Derek stiffly chuckles, staring at Jenn, “They aren’t that bad, Jenn convinced me to get them for the movie marathon at Eric’s house.”

“There’s a movie marathon?”

“You should come Sean,” Jenn says, moving closer to Derek. There’s a sort of  _ pang  _ inside his chest that wells then quickly dissipates for just a second, enough for him to fake a smile while he fiddles with his ring finger, “I think you might be able to catch the last movie if you’re quick enough.”

His lips pres into a thin line, his eyes finding the gap between them. They’re not close enough to bridge the gap to hold hands, but it’s enough that it feels like a thousand of kilometers between him and Jenn, it’s still growing, stretching further and further. Out of his reach when he thought he could reach out, she’s no longer there, it feels like she’s worlds away but--

_ She’s just two metres away from him _

_ And it hurts _

“I…” he stutters, “I don’t think I can go, I-I have a long shift and my boss is probably looking for me,” he lies, it tastes bitter sweet on top of his tongue, growing more and more as it goes down his throat, making his throat bleed while he glances at Derek before his eyes move towards Jenn.

“Sean are you sure?” Derek asks, “we can still change it--”

“No it’s fine,  _ really _ ,” he says, “it’s cool really, no problemo. I-I have a job to do and I’m really busy at the moment, it’s totally cool--”

“Sean--”

“I gotta go,” he says, the dull  _ pang  _ starts up again, “you go on and have you two.”

He picks up the empty crates, not caring if it’s not stacked up properly, not caring if his boss would tell him off again. He doesn’t care, he wants to leave quickly, walk away before the dull pain inside him grows more and more for a  _ stupid high school _ crush for a girl.

He feels their stares, poking him in the back like spears as he reminds himself that this won’t matter, this is just a crush in high school, it won’t matter in five years, or six. It won’t matter when he gets out of high school and all his classmates starts to become distant people that blends into strangers he met over his years, he’ll fall in love or have crushes with people he’ll meet soon, and all his distant ones will rot into either painful memories or bittersweet ones.

But still, once he enters the storage room and the chilly air hits him, there’s a sort of melancholic feeling, like the ones described in bullshit poems that  _ Karen  _ probably writes. But is sticks to him for a while.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Now playing spiral by SALES _

The sun hangs low in the horizon, not enough for a sunset but just enough for the light of the day to slowly start to dwindle away, bathing everything in a quiet blue hue, all the little creatures to quietly hide away in their little nests.

It’s also a reminder for Sean that he only has three hours left for his shift.

He sighs, leaning against the wall of the back of Z-Mart, the graffitied walls entrained with so many colours filled with so many stories and memories from random strangers. A weird sort of musty smell hangs in the air, making it heavy with expired foods thrown out into the back, not caring where they go. 

Sean looks around him, leaning his head forward to look at the parking lot and the streets. He leans back, letting his head rest against the brick wall, staring at the wired fence in front of him, there’s an alleyway in beyond the fence. Same brick wall but painted grey, but with shitter graffiti with even shitter outlines and colours. There’s the same black garbage bag thrown out with no care, probably from some 9-5 worker named Chad that though that sports was his future, his dream, only to tumble down because of the heights and the fear, falling down into the depths of the city traps.

He wonders if that will happen to him too.

Taking a cigarette from his pocket he puts it between his lip, letting it stay there for a moment, almost flying off into the inner city by the sudden gust of wind. He takes the lighter from his pocket, staring at the rusty parts or the smudges of the top, a reminder of the passage of time taking a toll on some stupid lighter for something, but for him it’s his Dad’s, decades ago it would be in his dad’s hands. He probably had a crazy teenage years, Sean imagines him parting 24/7,using the lighter to smoke a joint in a party only to hook up with some girl in the party. Maybe his Dad would do late night campfires, silly little conversations about who they’re banging on the weekends, beer clutched between his finger while he lights a cigarette with his lighter. Still brand new, with  _ Puerto Loboz  _ with no dents or smudges at the words to ruin it.

Sparks sputter before turning into a flame, he covers it with his hand, a trick he learned from his Dad. The cigarette brings to smoke, and the inside turns from a dull dark brown to a burning, bright red hot. Sean inhales, feeling the sort of  _ high  _ that thrums over his body, comes over him like some sort of wave before disappearing, coming out as smoke between his lips that curls into the thick air before vanishing into thin air. The high isn’t comparable to blunts that him and Lyla uses to get high in the skateparks while laughing their heads off. But it's enough to make him relax, feel himself loosen while he stares at the world go by. 

He can hear things in the cliche suburb, close to the city the annoying  _ beep  _ comes from cars, but so does the shouting from rage drivers to watch where there going but clearly they’re in the wrong. But there’s also the common dog barking in the distance (you gotta have that in  _ every  _ suburb) and the birds chirping in the nearby park that’s always littered with hippies.

Sean pulls his cigarette out. He blows a smoke into the air. It’s a simple routine that feels so  _ euphoric  _ and sort of nostalgic once he looks back at moments like these, it’ll pop up in his memory in a few years from now for no reason. Him smoking on his break at the back of the store with the threat of getting caught by his boss and potentially getting fired but not caring, watching the world go by with this sort of  _ innocence  _ and only caring about some stupid Halloween party.

_ Am I really getting nostalgic before I even leave for college _

_ God I’m so emo  _

He is, he’ll miss this little corner of his world in Seattle. Once he graduates, once he says goodbye to his Dad and Daniel, once he picks up his bags all packed in a car; ready to travel to a college that’s halfway across the country for maybe art, maybe sports. He’s confused, at his most important stage of his life yet all he knows that he’s leaving this small world behind. It’ll hit him hard, he knows it.

He’ll just have to make sure he lives and cherishes every  _ single  _ moment of his last teenage years, leaving no regrets behind, no stones unturned and  _ definitely  _ no stupid drawings ideas left  _ undrawn. _

_ time my favorite  _ **_spiral_ **

_ i got an eyeroll _

_ from your  _ **_friends_ **

_ you  _ **_work_ ** _ in the  _ **_mornings_ ** __

_ a boring  _ **_9 to 5_ **

_ and your  _ **_spent_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**“** We’re locking up in twenty minutes, make sure you have the cash in the safe of the office.”

“Got it.”

Sean goes through the shelves of aisle 3, checking off the stocks left or the number of pea soup that no one really wants, any dents in the bottles of off-brand soft drinks and the expired goods that needs to be taken off the shelf and destroyed. It’s a mundane task, something that Sean goes on with the thrumming sound of a vent that acts like white noise, lonely aisles which is void of anyone except him and his boss. 

He pauses, putting the list on the shelves while he stares outside. It’s dark out, lamp post on the other side of the road sputters to life and so does the light inside the windows of the apartments that probably cost too much to rent in. There’s this hush that floats all around the store, but the outside is filled with distant cars revving and the occasional horn from a car.

But he sees someone, someone who looks like a hippie that smokes way too much and doesn't have a job, probably a high school drop out that hops from place to place. He’s the typical hippie that everyone sees once in their life.

So why does he keep staring at his face? The three triangle tattoos under his left tattoo that would have been a bitch to get. There’s a line under his lip, running down to his chinn. The bell rings, shattering the spell in the quiet air. He looks around, lips pressed into a thin line while fixing brown hair, turned into a  _ stupid _ obnoxious dreadlocks that Sean doesn’t hate  _ entirely. _

Eyes fixiated on a stupid stranger, his body follows for some reason. It’s like he’s following a sudden splash of colour in the lights that give of a yellow hue that splashes against the reflective white tiles. It’s strange, it’s weird.

“Can I help you with anything?” Sean asks, surprised that his voice didn’t break because of this strange  _ feeling  _ inside his chest, reminding him of something that he can’t really put his finger on. He can see him much better, he’s close, just a few metres away from him. Sean puts his hands into his pockets, awkwardly smiling while staring at the tattoo on his knuckles to the septum ring in his nose.

“I’m not gonna steal anything,” he says, his voice is _so_ carefree, like he doesn’t give a single shit anymore, “Can a man get Chocko-O-Crisp around here?” He complains, full of sarcasm as he laughs to himself. Sean watches him look at the signs above the aisles, putting his hands into the pockets of his black with the words _Pisshead_ in white lazily written. Sean wonders if he picked it in a rush, before walking out into the cold night he would get the hoodie that he probably always wears, on a chair at the corner of his room. He probably randomly picked his beige jeans too, patched up with random fabrics and his dirty red, green and white sneakers.

He walks past him, going back to the other end of the aisle, pretending to check if the cereal boxes are fine or the bags of chips aren’t missing despite nobody buying them anyway. Sean makes sure to get glances, quick little ones to look at him at the other end of the aisle, he wants them to last longer, longer than a half a second because he’s afraid of getting caught, he wants it to be five seconds or more. He likes his eyes, they’re blue, different, not like Jenn’s ocean eyes bullshit. His is different, it’s hazy, reminding him of fog in the early mornings. It’s also a little dark, dark like the depths of the ocean, dark like the sky outside.

It’s so  _ mysterious. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


“It’ll be a total off… five bucks.”

The stranger reaches into his pockets, grunting as he puts his coins at the counter. He’s in deep thought, counting the change that was probably from buying cigarettes or beer in the streets. Sean looks at his eyes, he doesn’t know why he’s admiring them, it’s just a random stranger’s eyes.

_ But there’s something about them _

_ Something about  _ **_him_ **

“Shit,” he murmurs, he shakes his head while talking to himself. He counts the coins again, carefully this time, making sure to take his time. Moving the 20 cents aside, then slowly working his way up and up. Sean looks at his face, just for a moment, just for a split second, he starts to wonder how--

“It’s on the house,” Sean says quietly, looking around to make sure his boss isn’t looking around, “it’s just a Choco-O-Crisps.” 

He smiles. Sean likes the way he smiles. He doesn’t know  _ why _ . 

“Thanks man, thought that you were gonna kick me out or something.”

“No,” Sean says, shaking his head, a smile forming at the corner of his lips, “I wouldn’t do that.”

The stranger takes the bag of Choco-O-Crisps with him. But there’s a pull that  _ tugs  _ at Sean, “wait,” he yells. He feels stupid,  _ so  _ stupid. Sean was close, he was just a few steps away from walking out of the store where Sean would never see him again, he’ll blend into the seas of thousands of millions of strangers. He’s  _ different _ , he doesn’t know why.

“Do you want me to return this?” He scoffs, “because I’ll be really pissed if you just changed your mind--”

“Do you live here?” Sean asks, “because I thought I saw you around here.”

He laughs, “no hell am I fit for Seattle, It’s just my pit stop.”

“Sorry, I just thought that you were someone else.”

They stare at each other for a second, just enough that the stranger had to leave quickly. He turns around, opening the door as the ringing hauntingly echoes throughout the store. He left, but he won’t become just another stranger in his life. Something shifted inside Sean. He can feel it as he starts to count the money in the cashier. He can still feel it after he turned off the lights, or when he waits for his Dad to pick him up.

“What’s your name?” He asks, a question for the stranger, a question for  _ him.  _ But he’s way too late, he’s already worlds away, just like Jenn. So instead he says it like he’s saying it to himself, holding onto some  _ stupid  _ chance that’ll he’ll come back and he’ll get a name out of  _ him. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Did you have a good day at work mijo?”

He pauses, staring out of the window.

“Yeah,” he says, “ I did.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He leans against the cold wall of the shower, feeling the cold shock go through his entire body. He sighs, looking at the water in the bathtub, his hand coming from underneath the water, playing with the few bubbles left in the water. The water used to be warm, a pretty clear blue with the scent of spearmint from his soap, but now it’s grown cold, the water murky with a grey sort of colour, his reflection looking back at him so ugly.

There’s this associated feeling when he’s in the bathtub at home, staring at the shampoo bottle near his feet. There’s the yellow hue that covers everything that’s coming from the light bulb, hearing old  _ top gear  _ episodes through the wall, this time it’s Jeremy Clarkson swearing as he gets stuck at a pothole at he tries to travel across Europe. He can hear the laughing from his Dad, so loud he can picture his chest hurting as he heaves for air.

Letting his body slink deeper into the water he relaxes, the water reaches the top of his ears. He stops. Everything is so muffled, he can’t tell if Daniel is telling his Dad to stop laughing or it’s just a Celebrity shitting themselves in the race track. There’s this stillness, but it isn’t like the other calm ones, no.

It makes him think of the sudden  _ shift  _ inside him.

Sean thinks he knows what it was, from walking to work to seeing Jenn with Derek, to smoking at his break to seeing  _ him _ . Sean doesn’t even know  _ his  _ name, doesn’t know what  _ his  _ life or the little details that anyone would pick out if they knew  _ him.  _ He wants to, for some reason, to see the little stupid quirks or the dumb shit that  _ he  _ does when  _ he’s  _ bored.

_ Dark blue hazy eyes _

He quickly sits up, everything isn’t muffled anymore. He stares at the water, breathing heavily while he stares at his own reflection in the murky water. He’s so confused, but the shift is something that’s  _ unknown _ , something that’s so  _ terrifying  _ that it can turn his life into a mess, then a full circle and he’ll be left with no directions. Sean  _ thinks  _ he knows what it is, and it sends a panic that threatens to break everything that he thought he knew about himself.

Sean hopes that he’s wrong, he doesn’t want to be right. It’ll just be like starting life all over again, what would others think? What about Jenn? All the people he’s had will suddenly look at him under a different light, the usual one slowly turning red with eyes that’ll pry into his very life and after they’re done they’ll laugh and doubt about his very crush on Jenn and--

“Sean!” Daniel says, knocking on the door.

“Jesus dude you scared the hell out of me!” 

“Dad’s wondering if you’ll join us tonight!”

He thinks about it for a second before answering, “I… just give me five minutes!” He yells, opening the shower door as he stands up, hoping out of the bathtub while the water clings onto him, spilling over the lip of the bathtub, he frowns while staring at it, “just let me get dressed, I’ll join you soon.”

Daniel doesn’t answer back, he waits for the sound of footsteps to start and grow faint. It does after five seconds. He sighs, grabbing his towel from the floor as he wraps it around himself carefully. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, wet hair, pursed lips. He feels like his reflection is staring right back at him, it’s terrifying, like it’s  _ judging  _ him.

Sean shakes his head, splashing water onto his face in the sink. He’s overthinking this, he’s just a teenager, nothing will change, everything will stay the same. 

  
  
  
  
  


_ Me: (This message has now been deleted by the sender) _

_ Me: is jenn and derek dating _

_ Lyla (the love witch): someone’s jealous _

_ Lyla (the love witch): they’re not _

_ Me: I’m not jealous _

_ Lyla (the love witch): sure _

_ Lyla (the love witch): btw what did u delete? _

_ Me: nothing, it’s really not important, was supposed to send to eric _

_ Lyla (the love witch): okay _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
